'Friendor Failure'...not fun!

Imagine yourself, seated at a great restaurant with family and friends.  You have eaten a great meal, and are now sitting, chatting, enjoying the ambiance and the company.  In front of you remains the debris of your meal - - - dirty plates, an empty water glass, used napkins.  You’ve sat now for over a half an hour; no service is in sight, and the table waste seems to be growing.

How likely are you to give that restaurant a positive review?  Has the pleasure of the evening been diminished by this lack of service?  I am sure that each of you would say a very strong and adamant, “YES!”

Well, just so you know, this doesn’t just happen at restaurants. Time and time again, we see this same occurrence at weddings and other special events.  Things have been planned to the “nth” detail, yet something this simple to prevent - guests sitting amongst dirty dishes - is overlooked, or the decision is made to use “friendors” and to not staff appropriately.  Remember, a 'friendor', is a friend you choose to use as a vendor...not a professionally trained vendor hired by you to perform a specific service.  And unfortunately, we tend to see couples fall short on wait staff and service people for their weddings time and time again.

The caterer below, 'Beth Sogaard Catering', is doing it right...notice her wait staff clearing the dirty dishes while guests enjoy their evening.

(Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

So first, some guidelines...

Buffet style:  This is your standard buffet table set-up and usually includes service staff.  You want to plan on one staff person per 20-30 guests with a minimum of 4 wait staff per 100 guests.

Modified buffet:  A buffet where the salad is plated.  This service requires more servers to get the salads to the tables, so plan on one staff person per 15-25 guests and a minimum 5 staff per 100 guests.

Family style:  Service where food is brought to your guests tables ready to be served, and guests pass the platters, plates or bowls and serve themselves.  Remember you have to plan on staff getting the food to all your tables, in addition to bussing,  so make sure you have one staff person per 15-20 guests, with no less than a minimum of 6 staff people per 100 guests.

Served meal:  A very labor intensive type of service...similar to eating in a nice restaurant.  You'll need one staff person per 10-15 guests, or two tables per server.

Drop and Go:  Here the caterer literally drops the food and leaves your venue.  No service...and certainly no clean-up.  So for 'Drop and Go', you want to plan on making sure you have enough wait staff to buss your tables after the meal is finished, so as with a buffet meal, plan on at least one staff person per 20-30 guests, and maybe more.  Here again, no less than 4 staff people per 100 guests.

(Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

Another important thing not to overlook - - - water on tables!  Either ensure water glasses are pre-filled and that staff is available to refill glasses, or put a water pitcher on each table - - - especially if you are outside and the day is warm!  Then make sure you have someone to walk around and monitor any water pitchers placed on guests tables.  Believe me, there is nothing worse than having a guest come to you to ask for more water.  Talk about embarrassing...yikes.

(Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

Another rule of thumb...

Hire professionals.  Please!  We know it is tempting to hire your friend’s teenaged children to help out, but our experience is that, for every good worker that comes with that course of action, there are 3-5 that just do not “get” it, and think they are there to look pretty or party themselves!  If you want to save money, then consider kids from a local FFA chapter or like group that is trying to raise money.  We saw this done recently, and it was highly successful.  Just ensure they come with supervision, and that there is complete understanding as to job responsibilities.

 (Coralee Barnes from 'A Taste To Dine For' catering)

Finally, have a back-up plan...   

The best planners will have discussed back-up plans in case of “friendor failure” well in advance to ensure your day is everything you want it to be.  Because trust me, planners would rather do what they were hired to do than 'buss' your guests tables.  I'm just sayin'!

Until next time...

Making YOUR wedding InnCredible!

'InnCredible Events'

530.919.4588

'Tying the Knot'...

So I thought while I was researching where all our 'crazy wedding traditions' came from, I would also look into some of the terminology we use to describe getting married.  I had just posted on facebook that "Megan and Jason were 'Tying the Knot'", when it occurred to me that I had NO idea where that phrase actually came from.  So I thought, this will be easy, I'll do a wee bit of research, get the answer and share with you all.  NOT!  I had no idea that I was going to stumble upon so many different stories as to where this phrase originated...silly me!  

So, here you go...all the different tales as to why we say 'Tying the Knot' when a couple gets married.  And, yes, many have to do with knots!

 

Betrothal Knots...

Before couples started using rings to signify being married, it was believed that they used rope knotted and tied on to different body parts to show they had 'Tied the Knot'.  It is also believed that during the time it took to tie said knots, the 'Father of the Bride' could demand a higher price for his daughter...but once the knots were tied, she was legally bound to her beloved.  Oh my!

  

Lilies of the Nile...

In the Middle East, mainly Persia and Iran, when couples would enter into marriage, they would be separated by a curtain, or cloth, so they could not see each other, and then their wrists would be wrapped and then 'tied' with a piece of cloth.  Then yarn would be wrapped seven times around the couple and knotted seven times to show they were married.  No reasons are given as to why seven times...hmmmm!

Clans Unite...

Medieval Celts, my ancestors, would perform a 'Handfasted Ceremony' where the bride and groom would agree to live together as husband and wife for one year and a day...oh we Celts were so forward thinking...LOL.  Then, at the end of this year and a day, they could agree to part and go their separate ways, or partake in a marriage ceremony with a Priest who would then tie their hands and wrists with a cloth, or piece of each others tartan, to seal the marriage during a 'Handfasting Ceremony'.  Some reports claim the couple also had their wrists cut so that the blood from the bride and groom could be mixed proving the mixing of Clans.  Guess we weren't as forward thinking as I thought...ewww..

When in Rome...

Ancient Greek and Roman brides, it is reported, used to wear a woolen 'girdle' that was intricately tied with Herculean knots so that the groom, after the wedding ceremony, had to untie all the knots in order to consummate the marriage on their wedding night...praying all the time that the 'Gods' would bless him with lots of children. 

A Simple Explanation...

One other theory is that the phrase came from the custom of tying the hands of the bride and groom together during the ceremony and they were not allowed to untie the knots until the marriage had been consummated.

Sailors Knots...

In Sweden many many moons ago, illiterate sailors would send their loved ones a piece of rope while they were out at sea.  If the rope came back to them with a knot in it, it meant his gal agreed to the proposal...if not, well, I guess he was out of luck.  Some say that if a rope tied with a 'true-lovers' knot came back to the sailor tightened very tightly, then, and only then, would the marriage was on.

Shinto ...

In Japan, long ago, a rope would be tied around the wrists of the happy couple joining them together.  In more modern times, however, the rope has been replaced by a sash and is just placed over the couples wrists. 

Necklace of Flowers...

During a Hindu wedding ceremony, the priest tied a knot using the ends of the clothing worn by the bride and groom.during the 'Gathabandhan' portion of the ceremony to signify the tying them to sacred wedlock.  However, some theorize that the bride and groom tied a necklace of flowers around each others necks instead.

Viva Mexico...

And in Mexico, our neighbor to the south, a cord, usually of flowers, is draped over the shoulders of the bride and groom and fastened with a cross during the 'Lasso Ceremony' to show they are bound together and joined by God.

And finally, my favorite... 

Some people actually believe that the saying, 'Tying the Knot' came from the marriage bed.  Because way back in the day, beds frames were tied together with a threading of rope and knots...so, it was believed that the couple actually had to 'tie the knots' of their bed in order to consummate their marriage...LOL.  Love it!  There are no real reports to substantiate this story, but it sounds good, doesn't it...LOL!

Well, regardless of what theory you believe, the saying, 'Tying the Knot' has been around for centuries, since the year 1275, to be exact...and it appears it's here to stay...

Until next time...

Making YOUR wedding InnCredible

InnCredible Events

530.919.4588

(Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

'Crazy Wedding Traditions...Rings and Things'

(Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

Wedding rings are one of our oldest wedding traditions...dating back to 2800 BC.  But where exactly did this tradition come from and how has it stood the test of time?  Well...wedding rings have a very interesting, and somewhat mysterious, history.  So, let's take a look....

 (Medieval wedding bands)

The Ring...

The ring itself, being a circle, symbolizes eternity.  It has no beginning or end, and returns to itself.  Circles have been worshiped by cultures for eons of time...as in the moon and sun...so it's the perfect symbol to define undying one's love.  

 

The hole in the center of the band had a purpose too it seems...according to historians, it symbolizes the gateway, or door, to thing unknown and yet to come.  Which translates into the life the newly married couple were beginning.

 

It is believed that way back in the day...and we're talking prehistoric times here...grooms would bind the ankles, and wrists, of their betrothed with grasses to keep her soul from escaping.  Although, truth be told, it was probably to keep her from running away...LOL!   This binding was moved to her finger once the wedding ceremony had taken place.   Later, prehistoric man moved away from grasses, to rope, then leather and finally to the ever popular metal band.  But, the ring was used to symbolize ownership of the woman by her man.

The first 'real' wedding bands can be traced back to ancient Egypt where rings were fashioned out of papyrus and other reeds found along the banks of the fertile Nile River.  Later, when precious metals were discovered, the 'well-to-do' Egyptians quickly switched to these ever-lasting materials.  These metal bands not only signified the grooms ranking in society, but they were also more practical than reed bands which would tend to break apart easily and need to be replaced more often than not.

(Egyptian engraved wedding ring)

Ancient Roman's used iron as their metal of choice because to them, iron symbolized strength and therefore proved a man's 'strong' love for his wife.  But, as you might have guessed, rust was a problem, and iron was eventually given up for other less popular metals like gold and silver...oh my!  Forward thinking renaissance Italians however, preferred silver...while other cultures chose copper.  Gold, it seems, would not become really popular until much later in history.  But whatever the metal, it seems wedding bands were here to stay.

Here's an interesting fact.  Many, many years ago, it was believed that by marrying, a man was trusting his wife with all his worldly possessions, so for several years, a ring in the shape of a key was given to the bride as her groom carried her over the threshold of his home. This key proved to the world that he trusted her beyond measure.

(Key wedding ring)

Engagement Rings...

According to folklore, the tradition of wearing an engagement ring sprang from a sanction from the Catholic Church when Pope Innocent III declared that anyone wanting to be married would be required to have a waiting period, or an 'engagement', before their marriage, and would need to wear an 'engagement' ring as a symbol of their promise to marry.  If either person, man or woman, broke this promise, they would either be excommunicated from the church or banished to a nunnery. Ouch...!

 (Pope Innocent III)

The first diamond engagement was reported to have been given in 1477 by the Archduke Maximilian of Austria when he proposed marriage to Mary of Burgundy.  But the tradition of using diamonds didn't really catch on until the late 1700's.  Then it took off like 'wild fire'...hence the expression, 'Diamonds are a girl's best friend'...thank you Marilyn Monroe!

 (Archduke Maximilian and Mary)

Men and Rings...

Interestingly, men didn't begin to wear wedding rings until World War II.  Remember, women were still considered to be the property of her 'man' so the ring was a marking of ownership.  However, when the war came along, many men began wearing rings to remind them of their loved one back home...and the tradition stuck.

So why the left hand...and the 'ring' finger?

Well, there are some interesting theories here too.  According to folklore, the choice of the third finger on the left hand dates back to ancient Rome when it was believed that this finger held the vein that lead directly to the heart...the 'Vena Amoris', or 'Vein of Love'. 

 

 (Photo courtesy of 'Turning Leaf Studios')

Others theorize it is because of an old religious tradition where the groom would slide the ring part way down each of this bride's fingers reciting, 'in the name of the father' on the thumb, 'the son' on the index finger, and 'the holy ghost' on the middle finger...and finally coming to rest on the third, or 'ring' finger.

 

And then there are others who strongly believe the left hand was chosen because as a groom was facing his bride, he would reach out with his right hand...and of course, it would be her left hand that was immediately in front of him.  Whichever theory you choose, the tradition remains...

So, there you have it...the history of the wedding ring.  

Until next time...

Making YOUR wedding InnCredible

InnCredible Events

530.919.4588

'Crazy Wedding Traditions...Tossing Things!'

 

(Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

Oh my goodness, there are so many wedding traditions that we take for granted.  We just plop them into the Timeline and anxiously wait with anticipation for them to happen.  But, have you ever wondered where these crazy traditions came from?  I have, so I'm going to give you a little bit of history behind all these fun features that we all know and love.

First off...the tossing of things...

Bridal Bouquet...

The tossing of the bridal bouquet stems from 14th century England.  Evidently, after the ceremony, villagers would rush the bride to try to rip off pieces of her dress for good luck.  It was believed that if you could grab a piece of the brides gown, or her flowers, then you too would have the good fortune of marriage in your future.  

(Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

So...to save themselves from harm, and keep their dresses from being ripped to shreds, brides began tossing their bouquets to the maddening crowds as they made their get away with their new groom.  

 (Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

Then the lucky lassie who caught the bouquet was on her own to defend it from the rest of the crowd.  Sounds like fun to me...NOT!  LOL!

Garter Toss...

This is a bit more disturbing, and a wee bit barbaric, if you ask me.  In keeping with the belief that one would receive good luck, and find marital bliss, if you were able to grab a bit of clothing from the bride, Medieval Englander's believed that a marriage was not a 'marriage' until it had been consummated.  So, once the ceremony was done, the bride and groom were escorted to their 'martial bed' by well-wishers who crowded around to witness the consummation.  Eww...can we have some privacy here?  

 (Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

These well-wishing voyeurs would then clammer for a piece of the brides undergarments to prove that they were actually lucky enough to witness the act.  Again, eww...!!!   So grooms began removing a piece of their beloveds clothing, namely a garter, and tossing it to the crowd to fight over so he and his misses could have a bit of privacy.

(Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

And as with the bouquet toss, the lucky lad that caught the garter, was guaranteed to find a wife.  There are no reports as to whether or not that happened...hee hee...!

(Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

Today these traditions are done in fun...thank goodness!!!!  And some couples are choosing to break with tradition and forgo the tossing of the bouquet and garter.  Could this be the start of a new tradition?  We'll just have to wait and see!!!!

If you loved this travel back in time...just wait, there's more to come!

Until next time....

Making YOUR wedding InnCredible!

'InnCredible Events'

530.919.4588

(Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

'Tips for having Pets in your Wedding'...

Look at that face! How can you not love that face? Everyone who owns a dog absolutely thinks their dog is the cutest puppy ever. So as wedding trends begin to shift, more and more couples are choosing to include their 'furry friends' in their 'paws-itively' perfect days.

Seriously, now-a-days, dogs aren't just pets, they're members of our families...and many times, we take them everywhere we go...right?
Well, at least I do! LOL! So to some, not including their 'fur-people' in one of the biggest days of their lives is completely out of the question and unacceptable. I mean, seriously, how could you say 'NO' to that face!

(my Molly Waffle!)

If you're one of the growing trend bound and determined to include your pup in your ceremony, here are a few tips to make sure you, and the furry member of your bridal party, are all happy campers.

(love the tongue!)

• Always check with your venue to make sure you can include your pup in the festivities. Many outdoor venues will allow you to include them, but it's always nice to ask before you just show up and expect it to be ok. Some indoor facilities are changing their 'no pets' policies and are beginning to allow pets as well..but they may have a few restrictions, so again, check with your venue.

(camera hounds!)

• Before you 'jump in with both feet' on this idea, make sure your pup is the type that can handle large crowds and intense situations. Some dogs handle these types of situations very well, and others...well, not so much!

(Who are these people?)

• Experts suggest that you either hire a trainer or designate someone, not in your wedding party, to take care of bowzer all day so you can enjoy your reception without worrying about how your pup is doing. It might be advisable, depending upon the temperament of your dog, to ask a friend to drive Fido home so they can rest after the big soiree, or bring their crate for comfort and a nap. And don't forget a bowl of water and a dish of food!

(Can we go now? Pleeeaassee!)

• Always, always, always have someone walk your dog before your ceremony. Nothing spells disaster faster than having your dog relieve him or herself at the altar. Trust me, this is NOT the one thing you want everyone to remember about your wedding!

(I really gotta go...I really gotta go!)

• When taking photos with your dog, try to take them before your ceremony to ensure that your pup will be fresh faced and ready for their photo-op.

(Not another photo...)

• Be reasonable about your dogs abilities before you decide their role in your wedding. If you have a puppy, for instance, it's probably a given that they aren't going to be able to sit quietly while your entire ceremony is being conducted.

(Ok...I'm done!)

• It's also suggested that you dress your pup in the outfit they'll be wearing the day of your wedding so they get used to the new additions. That will keep them from pulling and tugging at the garments and trying to rip them off while your ceremony is happening.

(Such a handsome Best Man)

• Sometimes being clever just doesn't cut it. If you want your dog to act as your 'Ring Bearer' make sure you have a pillow, or pouch, for them to carry the rings. In fact, using 'fake' rings is much better idea...that way you don't run the risk of loosing the rings before they get to the altar.

(Seriously?)

• And for heaven sake....practice...practice...practice! Just like trying to teach your dog a new behavior or trick, practice makes perfect! It's a good idea to take your pup to your wedding location several times so they can get used to the surroundings and practice...that way their job becomes routine.

(Cutie Pie Corgis!)

Oh, and just in case you're wondering...dogs aren't the only pets in weddings. Oh no...!!! Believe it or not, some people have included their cats, horses, and birds. Oh my!

(Are we done yet?)

OK...on that note, I'll leave you with this...an honest to goodness, dog-gone doggie wedding!

(Oh, the injustice of it all!)

Until next time...

Making YOUR wedding InnCredible!
InnCredible Events
530.919.4588

(Miss Jackson's photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')