Wednesday, February 29, 2012

'Friendor or Foe'...?

(Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

This is something we hear all the time...'I'm going to have my friend be my wedding planner', or 'My friend is going to be my DJ'...etc...etc...etc.  Sound familiar?  Well, if this is something you're considering, here are a few things to consider before you have a 'friendor' work the biggest day of your life.

There is no official definition for the word, 'friendor'...not even in 'Urban Dictionary'...but those of us in the industry consider a 'friendor' to be a friend who you ask, or hire, as a vendor for your wedding.  In theory this doesn't sound bad, right?  But, here are a few questions to ask yourself...

 (Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

First of all...this is THE biggest day of you life, so do you want to trust someone who is NOT a professional to handle any part of it.

Second, how are you going to feel if your 'freindor' doesn't live up to your expectations and do the job you want them to do?

And third, how will you deal with the friendship if you're disappointed in your 'friendors' performance?

Not easy questions to answer, I know...but things you need to think about before you ask your friends for help.

In addition, here are some 'Pros' and 'Cons' for you to consider...and, yes, there are 'Pros'...LOL!

  • Hiring a 'friendor' would allow you to include friends in your wedding that you might not include on your guest list
  • Might help you save money
  • Might help you feel more comfortable than having a stranger work your wedding

  • Hiring a 'friendor' may end up killing your friendship
  • May put a tremendous amount of responsibility on an untrained professional that they are not prepared for
  • May end up costing you more in the long run when something doesn't get done to your satisfaction
  • May add tremendously to your stress
(Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

Now, I don't want to squelch your ideas about asking your friends to help you with your wedding...but I do want you to think long and hard before you venture into this arena.  Too often, Marjorie and I have seen this go sour very quickly.  

For instance, we've had situations where the people who agreed to do certain things, either backed out at the last minute, or just didn't bother to show up.  We've had times where the tasks assigned were not completed to the couples liking.  And we've had occasions where the 'friendor' had taken it upon themselves to do whatever they wanted regardless of what the couple requested.

(Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

On the flip side...we had one bride who's friends were so together and so organized...and so thrilled to help...that they actually went above and beyond what was expected of them.  But, that my friends, is usually the exception to the rule.

So, here's a good 'rule of thumb'...
  • If you don't trust them...don't ask them to help you
  • If your 'gut' tells you 'no'...then don't
  • If they begin questioning your wants and desires...walk away
  • Be prepared to negotiate  
  • And make sure each of your 'friendors' understand they are there to work and not take part in the festivities.
So, there you have it.  Tell us how you feel about having 'friendors' help with your wedding.  The good, the bad and the ugly...we want to hear about it!

Happy Planning!

Until next time....

Making your wedding InnCredible
InnCredible Events

(Photo courtesy of 'Stellasweet Photography')

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